Micro-Engagements: Big Impacts through Tiny Actions

The trifecta of white supremacy, capitalism and patriarchy work to keep us apart: the rich from the poor, the privileged from the disenfranchised, U.S.-born from immigrants, aggressors from victims, young from old, me from my Black neighbor.

Together, these three forces form white supremacy culture, and through this culture, we disconnect from each other. We learn to defend ourselves when we hurt someone, instead of attending to their hurt. We learn how to pursue our personal goals rather than prioritizing collective well-being. And we learn to feel really, really bad when we don’t do things well, or right, or as expected, and to sequester this feeling, not share it.

So to lean in toward each other—to be relational—is wildly disruptive. When I think of upending the system of white supremacy culture, I think of big dramatic actions: pressuring legislature, running for office, nationwide strikes, protesting (another) catastrophe. Yet, lifting my eyes and smiling hello when I pass a Black woman on the sidewalk messes with the system. I wasn’t taught to do this; I was conditioned to ignore or look away.

There are hundreds of little disruptions those of us who identify as white can do every day. I call them micro-engagements. I choose the BIPOC check-out clerk at the corner store, even if their line is longest, and ask how their day is. I sit in the seat next to the elderly Asian man on the bus and comment on the weather. I carry bags of jerky in my car to give to the man at the highway onramp and ask how he’s doing.

I live in a predominantly white block, region, and country. Even so, there are plenty of opportunities for micro-engagement. I’ve learned to pay attention to who I’m conditioned to not notice, who my community structurally keeps me separated from. Then I put myself in proximity, I lift my eyes, I say hello

There’s a big caveat here. Unless I’m actually in relationship with someone, I keep these engagements micro. These are not showy gestures, but an internal shift. I need to be circumspect and humble: a lot of BIPOC aren’t interested in my reparative attentions. So I lean into why this is so. It’s a relational response.

Mar. 2023 Back to Blog Home

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